Totally off topic in every way shape and form

"Bandit" (2bandit) 04/02/2014 at 19:32 • Filed to: educationlopnik

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I very much dislike my English class/teacher so when I was told to write a paper around the prompt "choose any cycle and tell me how it is parallel to a cycle in Hindu creation and hero stories" I had to be a smart ass. I continuously set the curve in that class and I've told the teacher straight up the reason I am so successful in her class is because I know how to BS everything. I decided to state how Pink Floyd's The Dark Side of the Moon is parallel to the Hindu belief in the creation, death, and rebirth of the universe. The paper is an amazing example of bull-shittery. I would have more respect for the paper if it didn't include an art project portion and wasn't total busy work.

Vince-The Roadside Mechanic > Bandit 04/02/2014 at 19:34

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please post the paper

Icemanmaybeirunoutofthetalents > Bandit 04/02/2014 at 19:42

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Why are you required to write religious stuff in English class? Not even in India is that kinda stuff done.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Bandit 04/02/2014 at 19:48

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Bandit > Icemanmaybeirunoutofthetalents 04/02/2014 at 19:50

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I don't know, she love's this stuff.

Bandit > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 04/02/2014 at 19:50

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Kinja'd

Spoon II > Bandit 04/02/2014 at 19:53

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When it said "choose any cycle" I immediately thought of the four-stroke cycle, but I like your choice more I think.

CAR_IS_MI > Bandit 04/02/2014 at 19:56

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I once had an English teacher I dis-liked. Actually, five English teachers. All five failed me, and then I got one of them fired. That was fun...

AthomSfere > Icemanmaybeirunoutofthetalents 04/02/2014 at 20:00

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To point out our own bigotry: Because most people really view it more as mythology than religion.

getchapopcorn > Bandit 04/02/2014 at 20:01

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"way, shape, and form," [Shirley]. :P

[surely] your name's not Shirley, Shirley.

Leadbull > Bandit 04/02/2014 at 20:06

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Careful.

My first semester of college, I got solid As on all of my papers. For the final one, however, the college (not the professor—the actual university) mandated that we write something about "sustainability" or something.

I chose to write mine about polar bears. It was three pages full of coca cola references and similar nonsense. I got a D, which dropped my overall down to a B instead of an A.

...

But then again, I did write a twelve page paper the next semester about farming, where I talked about the fields coming alive like in children of the corn. I got one of the highest grades in the class.

Bandit > Leadbull 04/02/2014 at 20:10

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That's awesome! I made sure the teacher was okay with my idea before I started the paper.

Bandit > AthomSfere 04/02/2014 at 20:10

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This paper is for my mythology class.

Bandit > getchapopcorn 04/02/2014 at 20:11

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Don't call me Shirley

AthomSfere > Bandit 04/02/2014 at 20:15

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Wow, did I just slam that one through the net or what?

Pardon sports-ball metaphors. I Don't watch the stuff.

Leadbull > Bandit 04/02/2014 at 20:26

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I was honestly surprised... I wrote that whole thing the night before, totally sleep deprived. I woke up for class, read it, and had zero expectations after realizing that my informative speech read like one of Orlove's tweets (with better grammar, of course).

I didn't communicate with my professor at all about the polar bear one. I was like "I have a 95% in this class.... what've I got to lose?" My 'A'. My 'A' is what I had to lose. :(

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Bandit 04/02/2014 at 20:29

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MOBILE FUCKING EDITOR! GAAAAAA

Leadbull > CAR_IS_MI 04/02/2014 at 20:29

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desertdog5051 > Bandit 04/02/2014 at 20:30

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Hello, Hello, It's Me... Is There Anybody Out There...

"Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day.You fritter and waste the hours in an off hand way. Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town. Waiting for someone or something to show you the way." Best recording ever made, in my opinion.

Bandit > desertdog5051 04/02/2014 at 20:33

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Why did you write that in blue link text?

Tom McParland > Bandit 04/02/2014 at 20:35

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Bandit...the best essays take a nontraditional approach. I was a good English major because I could BS pretty much anything.

desertdog5051 > Bandit 04/02/2014 at 20:37

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I did a copy off a site and that is how it came out. Sorry. I did not want to type the whole text in.

Bandit > Tom McParland 04/02/2014 at 20:38

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I figured I should get the urge to write papers with pointlessly random arguments out of my system before I get to college

Bandit > desertdog5051 04/02/2014 at 20:38

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All's good, I thought kinja was at play here.

Tom McParland > Bandit 04/02/2014 at 20:42

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Dude...that is coallege writing. :D

Icemanmaybeirunoutofthetalents > AthomSfere 04/02/2014 at 20:47

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I don't get it. Religions other than christianity are viewed as myth than actual religions? Is that what you're saying?

CAR_IS_MI > Leadbull 04/02/2014 at 20:49

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She failed 2/3 the class (99% of those whom she failed were male too) so we all petitioned the dean and he reviewed her assignments and grading and found her to be grading biased to the women, so she got fired and we all got a free pass for that class.

Leadbull > CAR_IS_MI 04/02/2014 at 20:49

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She probably reads Jezebel.

CAR_IS_MI > Leadbull 04/02/2014 at 20:50

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LMAO

AthomSfere > Icemanmaybeirunoutofthetalents 04/02/2014 at 21:03

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Pretty much, the Abrahamic religions get a pass, even if they are "wrong"... but anything else, especially those with very non-Abrahamic concepts are treated more as myth. Officially, they may be religions, but peoples actions towards them...

But, we are talking about a nation that thinks "teach the controversy" is a good idea in many parts, and that most of science is just as much Myth and religion as Hindu, but not Christianity because its in the bible...

Just extrapolating and simplifying... but you more or less nailed the gist of it.

ttyymmnn > Leadbull 04/02/2014 at 21:57

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One recommendation isn't enough.

BJ > Bandit 04/02/2014 at 22:46

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Sometimes I'm glad I didn't go to university - I wouldn't have been able to handle that kind of BS...

But in a certain way, perhaps you're passing because of it. The point of an education is to learn to think critically and to approach problems from different angles. By being less serious about it, you're demonstrating your ability to think beyond the constraints of the curriculum and the stated goals.

Oh, hang on a sec, my phone's ringing.

Bandit > BJ 04/03/2014 at 18:22

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THAT'S THE GREATES GIF EVER!

Bandit > Bandit 04/03/2014 at 18:23

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*greatest